Sincerely speaking, I am one of those pessimistic morons who do not like the holidays as a rule during this period… I mean, just as you have recovered from the disaster of the Pujas, WHAM!! Falls on your lap a Christmas tree and a weird old man, whose only words seem to be “HO HO HO” and “Merry Christmas!!” (Sounds like something I read off a certain board a few days ago… *Ahem*). I mean, what’s there to be merry about???? All that happens during these particular days (to me, at least) is a couple of days of boozing and all-niter parties that drag on till dawn (and the morning after the night before… when you feel like banging your head against the wall to stop it from throbbing, and meanwhile your darling Mummy wailing at the top of her lungs to OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!!). So yes, after my 21st birthday, I decided to stop the nonsense of making merry when Mother Mary’s Mistake was being slapped in the tail.

But this year, I have been forced to revise my opinion. We be having ecjams from the 15th and the monstrous mistake will be going on till end DECEMBER. And now I am really hating Christmas (where previously, it merely caused a mild irritation) with a vengeance, cause if it was'nt been for one Man's birthday, the bloody exams would have stopped sooner, and a LOT of happiness would have spread through the lonely corridors of JUDE, where currently silent screams and mystified moans are being heard.

So, during the last year, I’ve been thinking. My friend (I’ll call her A) and I discussed the matter over deeply, till our dearly beloved spoilsport Denial joined in with his ultra-hefty voice, and debated on the matter, taking both sides as we listened silently, stunned at his supercharged discourses and wondering what in Christ’s name were we doing in that place. Ultimately, the class Darrida (check PG-I) joined into the conversation, and we (A&I, with our Artificial Intelligence) crept away after he brought in Foucault and Baudrillard.

Aanyway, where was I?

Oh Yes, My idea.

Well, I was wondering, that the conception of Jesus is considered a miracle, like all other God’s creation. (Check Angels and Demons by Dan Brown… much easier on the mind than the book of Genesis in the Bible). So, the creation of a baby from a woman who had never ‘had’ sex was an impossibility. I can see only two ways that could have achieved such a ‘miraculous’ achievement.

1. Joseph’s sperm count must have been very Very high, and they must have been real strong swimmers (Check the movie LOOK WHO”S TALKING part 1 and 2 for more on strong swimmers… especially the 1st scene where they show the credits), so that full penetration was not necessary.


2. ‘Mary with the cherry’ (check blabber board) must have had sex with the Holy Ghost. Ghosts can easily pass through walls.


Out of the two possibilities, the second one seems more plausible. I mean, what was Joseph doing with his wife… family planning? And even if he was, why was he not popping the damn fruit, for Christ’s sake? Was he waiting for Christmas to unravel that particular present? (Oops, I think he was…)

Then, considering the second idea, I think the Holy Ghost idea is more plausible for this particular conception. After all, it explains his powers (come on, how many of you can turn water into wine… and I mean, while staying sober) and his resurrection. I mean, the ghost part of him must have gotten bored staying in that claustrophobic place for too long. And it totally fits in with his sacrificial stance… truly; it’s kind of beyond normal human parameters to be THAT sacrificing for others. Come on Man, chill!! But he was so busy being God’s Chosen One (Check Channel [V] for the current Chosen One), that he totally forgot his own priorities. Ok so you have powers, but that does not give you the right to flaunt it!!

And this show of power was what got Jesus down. The king was distressed to see a parallel source of power in Jesus, and tried to crush it. According to Machiavelli (check The Prince) the king was completely right to do so… in fact, it was perhaps the only choice he had. A king cannot shift part of the power he has been given by the state to someone else and stay in full control. This loss of control was what the King did not want.

Again, God also gave the king power, and this parallel source of God’s power really unsettled the king into action.

Then, it can be seen that after the Fall, nothing went right for Man, and God always chose the wrong person. Jesus was God’s son and the Saviour of Mankind. But where did he lead us to????

Lets check history… hmmmm lets see now…

The Dark Ages, Witch hunts, Mass Murder, The Knight Templars, The Crusades, The age of Renaissance where a million things were found but majority were kept under covers for they did not get accepted by God’s Ways, Puritanism, Samuel Richardson, Napoleon, the French, American, German, Italian, Russian revolutions, 1st and 2nd World War, The NUKIE, Deaths… Deaths… Saddam, Bush, Laden, Bush, American Idiot, Indian Gaarol… Abhijeet Sawaant, OUT OF TUNE, OUT OF TUNE………

This is the way the world ends,

Not with a bang but a birth. (So shoot me if I modified T.S.Eliot)

Regards,

Panu

P.S. Ever noticed how many times I asked you people to check???? Its an after-effect from a Don Chakra Class).